Philadelphia Parking Authority: Operation Swoop
Friday, March 14, 2008
One of my new favorite and shameful obsessions is A&E's new reality series, Parking Wars. The show follows meter maids, booters and impound lot officers all over the city. Now who would have thought that an entire TV show about the day-to-day lives of Philadelphia Parking Authority workers could be so entertaining? For starters, it's all based in Philly which means you're going to get the cream of the crop from downtown bitches, rude tourists, ghettolandians, college kids and more...
My favorite character goes by the name of Swoop AKA Tiffany. She's a ticketing officer who says she has to say the "Serenity Prayer" to get through a stressful work day. Her goal, every day all day, is to write the most tickets possible. Rundown of Operation Swoop: Swoop hides out in park behind bush across the street from bank with handicap meter right out front. Patrons continually pull into the handi spot to run into the bank (shame shame shame). As soon as the drivers are out of site, Swoop runs across the street and writes a ticket like lightening. Angry driver comes out pleading and cursing: "I was only in there for 5 seconds!" LIAR!Swoop has already written the ticket and she's all smiles. Suckers.
To me, Swoop is a local celebrity. My sister was in Center City the other day. She writes,
"u will never believe who i saw! SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!! she came by my meter as i was feeding it with the smart card and i went "SWWWWWOOOOOOP" and swoop went "heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..."And that was it. I heart Swoop. - POP by E
GRAPPLE! Looks like an apple. Tastes like a grape.
Friday, February 15, 2008
This is a grapple, actually it's four of them. They are the offspring of an apple mated with a grape. Isn't it amazingly horrific? They smell SO GOOD. Sweet grapes, nature's bounty.
But no, they have the crunch of an apple, and I just don't like apples!
- POP by Appas, Guest Blogger
Stuff White People Like
Thursday, February 14, 2008
"White people love Japan for a number of reasons. Sushi is pretty much the biggest one, since white people have spent so much time Sushi restaurants, enjoying the food, learning about how to eat it, and how to be snobby about it. This natural curiousity fills them with a need to pay a visit to Tsukiji and taste the freshest Sushi possible...
But it goes beyond just food, all white people either have/will/or wished they had taught English in Japan. It is a dream for them to go over seas and actually live in Japan. This helps them not only because it fills their need to travel, it will enable them to gain important leverage over other white people at Sushi restaurants where they can say “this place is pretty good, but living in Japan really spoiled me. I’ve had such a hard time finding a really authentic place.”
Sassy Santa
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Just before the holidays we hosted a Secret Santa gift exchange for our friends.
On our fridge there is a grocery list that I use quite often. It has an old photograph of a cat and a little girl sharing a milkshake - very cute. This week, I tore off a page to discover that one of our guests had been scribbling away during the party, leaving little insights behind:
grocery list
page 18
Don't forget!
Used condoms also make great sandwich bags!
P.S. For Work!
page 19
=) (smiley face)
Recycle your lube!
page 20
#12 - the way you fashion your cataract sunglasses as a bong!
page 21
Don't forget!:
#45 - keep a few sugar free diabetic candies in your pocket for a quick snack! They're delicious!
page 22
I <3>(heart) Irene
TO DO
1) Fiber. Always fiber. Balanced & healthy diet. The plumbing will ensure a lifetime of happiness!
A friendly reminder from your friends from Metamucil
(three blank pages)
page 26
SUCK YOUR MAMA PUNANI
(nine blank pages)
page 36
It's Earth Day!
Do your part to recycle
Also don't forget to recycle your manure
Sponsored by your poop
Mistakes Happen
Friday, November 16, 2007
CORRECTION: "A headline in Monday's Daily News, 'He regrets his role in postal vid,' implied that Richard Marino, the subject of a YouTube video, was sorry for an incident in December at a Brooklyn post office. Marino, in fact, is not sorry. The News regrets the error." -- Daily News, New York.
So you know how pretty much every day, there is a list of corrections printed in the newspaper? Sometimes they are rather amusing. Liz forwarded me this article about a guy who keeps a website called Regrettheerror.com which lists corrections from all over. The above is one of his favorites, as is this one, which I love. - POP by E by way of Liz
CORRECTION: "It has come to the editor's attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission." - The Lexington (Ky.) Herald-Leader, apparently trying to make up for decades of forgotten coverage, printed this two-sentence note.
Morons This Is Not a Trash Can for the Lazy
Thursday, November 15, 2007
It's been a long time since I've posted anything, which is not to say that I haven't been blogging per say. In fact, I've become quite the blog reader. See below a favorite from the Philadelphia City Paper blog, The Clog. I was certainly amused by the post. But seriously, I hate trash and litter. And anyone breaking the law should be reported! Still funny though. More to come soon. I've been stockpiling hilarity. POP by E
Friday, November 9th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
posted by Brian Howard
Not a trashcan. - Photo by Chad Willenborg
Reader (and runner up in last year’s fiction contest) Chad Willenborg sends us the above photo. The sign reads: "Morons, This is not a trash can for the lazy."
I wasn’t sure to whom I might send such a photo, but I thought you guys might find it interesting. My pic isn’t the best, but, man, there are lasagne-like layers of irony in this one. Around 20th and Jackson in South Philly…
Best,
Chad Willenborg
Thanks, Chad!
FROM THE COLLECTION: a closeup
Friday, September 14, 2007
FROM THE COLLECTION
The piece was important to the movement; we could never return the skewer to the set. It is now permanently housed in box in my apartment.
Artist: Loryn
